Creativity. Hindered.

Some posts are not easy to write, like this one. It is sad for me to not take the full blame for my actions, holding myself accountable. My creativity was first blocked by my high school boyfriend. The phrase opposites attract are true, but who is to say that after that attraction, you start to lose huge parts of yourself along the way. This is surely an indicator that your significant other might not be "the one". I have never been the serious type, and I knew that I was losing the flare about myself that makes me unique, especially to my family. I would catch myself trying to place my words correctly as well as my body language to fit the category of "mature" and "appropriate"; and I wonder why I did this so young at the age of 16-18. Now, there are times that I regret not doing what I wanted. I realize that I do like having control over myself and my actions, and there are in fact thousands if not millions of people who also feel tamed by their significant other. At the end of the day I want to act the way I want according to my mood, and nobody should lose that option in their life. Nowadays, I consider the hindrance of one using their creativity as abuse, because if we are all just "acting" or "playing a part", who are we? What we used to be turns dormant, and later on becomes extinct; so not only do people forget what you stand for, but you don't know how to get that part of you back. If you have at least one person you can be around without trying to pretend you are grown up, or acting professional, that is something you can look forward to and be hopeful for in getting back what makes us unique as humans. The more creative the mind, the better your work turns out in my opinion. I'm happy I am an English major, because I am forced to transcend my thinking and use intellect in a creative way that I hope progresses into a part of my being.

My transformation is mine to decide.

Madelyn

Younger.

Now.